Date: Fri, 07 Jan 2000 23:03:53 GMT From: S. W. Falken <saab_netnopsamAMyahoo.com> Subject: Re: DEALERS ONLY HILINE SALE 1/13/00-
In article <387666CA.AD2983FBnopsamhlink.net>, blautonopsamhlink.net (Burke Leon) said... > FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS > > 1. BURKE----- WHAT DO YOU DO? "I SPAM Usenet" > 2 BURKE, TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF "Well, I like to SPAM..." > 3 WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES OF BUYING THROUGH YOU "I have high quality customers that I found through SPAMMING. As you can imagine, all these Tom, Dicks, and Harrys are the best people that SPAM could lure via the Internet" > 4 WHAT COSTS CAN I EXPECT "Not many. I SPAM so I keep my costs down" > 5 HOW DO YOUR CARS DIFFER FROM THE USED CARS SOLD IN FRANCHISE > DEALERSHIPS AND USED CAR LOTS "I buy them from shady sources and then I turn around and SPAM Usenet and Internet Email addresses to find equally shady people to purchase them" > 6 WHY ARE YOUR PRICES SO MUCH LOWER "I told you, because I rely on SPAM for advertising and nothing legitimate!" > 7 WHERE DO YOU BUY YOUR VEHICLES? "Mostly from illegals in So. Cal. You know my policy - don't ask, don't tell" > 8 HOW IS THE QUALITY OF OUR VEHICLES "Sometimes a bullet hole here, a bullet hole there, but aside from some interior damage done byt he FBI impounders, usually great" > 9 WHAT IS A WARRANTEE AND HOW DO I GET ONE? "I'll give you any warranty you want - if you can find me to collect on it after the sale!" > 10 WHAT IS A GUARANTEE I THE SENSE YOU USE IT "ME AM BRASIL?" > 11 HOW MANY OF YOUR CUSTOMERS HAVE HAD PROBLEMS WITH CARS THEY PURCHASED > IN THE LAST FEW YEARS "I get no complaints, but maybe that's because I change my address every week" > 12 BURKE I AM WORRIED ABOUT THE SAFETY OF MY DEPOSIT. "Your deposit will be safe in my off-shaore numbered bank account" > 13 WHAT IS YOUR TYPICAL CUSTOMER LIKE? "They are lower upper lower class respectable people that just want an honest grey market deal" > 14 HOW DO YOU HANDLE THE FINANCIAL ISSUES? "As Credence Clearwater Revival once said: "Take the money and run" > 15 IF YOU CHARGE A FLAT FEE OVER COSTS DO YOU PROVIDE VERIFICATION OF > THE AUCTION PRICE "Sure since I can provide a document with any price I want since I work that at the "auction" myself". > 17 CAN I GET TO SEE THE VEHICLES BEING SOLD AT AUCTION? "Sure, go to any federal impound lot and look around" I think everyone gets the point by now...
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