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Date: Sat, 16 Sep 2000 02:36:28 GMT
From: Jeffrey Angler <janglernopsamoun.com>
Subject: Re: 2000 Viggen


I think I replied before to the indivdual who made some of the 'suggestions'. There is no way in the world I would want to make my beautiful VIGGEN look like a pimpmobile. I take all recommendations with a grain of salt and a hearty laugh. jeff Ryan Lindfield wrote: > I really hope that you are fucking kidding. If so, that > was really funny. If you are serious you should be shot. > If you are gonna do that to a car go get a neon or something > I see lots of idiots around here with lowered neons and > grapefruit launcher exhausts ( 4" tip on stainless muffler) > on them to get them to sound like a kazoo, half of these > idiots are in automatics. There is a guy in my parking lot > at work with an automatic saturn, he has about 20 stickers > on it as though he is sponsored by everyone in motorosports. > Complete with blue head lights, add-on fog lights, seat belt covers, > carbon fiber shifter etc. It sounds like a weed eater <paduanopsam.com> wrote in message > news:wZ6u5.2651$dr4.53893nopsam1.rdc1.ab.home.com... > > What, no fuzzy dice? > > "Jack B" <jacknopsamhe.net> wrote in message > > news:39ae860a_1nopsamna.netset.com... > > > Jeffrey Angler <jangler64nospamnopsamte.com> wrote: > > > > I recently got myself a Viggen convertible, boy is it great. However, > I > > > > am looking to sharpen it up even more, any ideas on how to make it a > > > > show car? > > > > > > Yes. Follow my easy-to-understand guide, and you will be > > > "showing" your sharp car in no time. > > > > > > 1) Ride height. It's obvious that the Viggen sits too high. > > > The best (and cheapest) way for you to fix this is to > > > cut a couple of coils out of your springs. You can also > > > clamp a few on the coils shut. A good guideline for this is > > > that you should not be able to see the top edge of the tire > > > when the car is at rest. > > > > > > 2) Lights and excitment. You will need to pick up some "Blue Flame" > > > bulbs at the local NAPA. It says they are not legal for road use, > > > but they only put that on there to keep dorks from buying them. > > > Open your hood and remove your exising bulbs. Replace with the > > > "Blue Flames". > > > > > > You will also want to put a neon license plate front and rear. > > > Normally, this would put a strain on your electrical system. > > > Luckily for you, the Viggen is chock full of unnecessary > > > "knock sensors" and "trionics" that you can disconnect, freeing > > > up power for the neon and your stereo (see below). > > > > > > 3) Wheels. How could such a cool car come with such gay wheels. You'll > > > want to take them off and replace with Boyd's Billet Custom wheels. > > > There is a spacer available that will let you use the same wheels > > > as a Chevy IROC-Z. > > > > > > 4) Stereo. Everyone knows that Saab radios are fruity and only > > > really work when they are tuned to NPR. You can't afford an > > > embarrassment like that when you're jammin' at the local strip. > > > Nor will traditional "boom tubes" fit. Luckily for you, there's > > > an answer. Under the hood of your Viggen, under the plastic cover, > > > you will see a variety of tuned induction and other tubes. > > > Pull the ones that connect to the engine off and install a set > > > of long-travel cone speakers at their ends. You can use acoustic > > > tile cones to account for the difference in diameter. Now your > > > entire car will be boomin'. You may notice that it is more difficult > > > to start the car in the mornings - that's because Saabs are not > > > particularly reliable. Don't go to your dealer, he doesn't know > > > what the hell he's doing. > > > > > > 5) Accessories. JC Whitney makes a kit that relocates the annoying > > > console-mounted key to the dashboard and gives you a full-sized > > > cupholder where the key used to be. You'll need that. > > > Also of interest would be a nice pinstripe or two down the barren > > > flanks of the Viggen. > > > If you have sufficient patience, it is possible for you to airbrush > > > your name on the back plastic window. Put your name on the left side, > > > and your baby's momma's name on the right. Don't reverse this, it > would > > > mean that you are a pansy, unless you are in England, in which case > > > it's mandatory. > > > Gold-plated Saab insignia add to the classiness of the car. There > > > is also a chromed panel which goes between your door molding and > > > the bottom molding. It's available with big VIGGEN letters, and also > > > with "PLAYER". > > > Oh yeah, gold-plate the grille, too. > > > > > > > > > That's about all I can think of. I look forward to seeing you at the > > > next "Boomin' Saab" show. So far, the only participants have been > > > me (and my chopped-and-channelled 92) and my buddy Darren, who has > > > a sweet lowered-and-skated 99 EMS, but we're not highfaultin' and we > > > always welcome another Saab customizer! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

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