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Not on the topic...but funny... Posted by Joe [Email]  (#444) [Profile/Gallery]
(more from Joe) on Wed, 28 Nov 2001 10:18:47
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This is what my girlfriend send me this morning...It's a copy and paste...sorry for the ">>"
> Obviously written by a woman......
>
> > "Oil Change Instructions For Women"
> > 1) Drive down to the mechanic's when the odometer reaches 5000Km
> > since the last oil change.
> > 2) Drink a cup of coffee.
> > 3) 15 minutes later, write a cheque and leave with a properly
> > maintained vehicle.
> > Money spent:
> > $40.00 for oil change
> > $1.00 for coffee
> > ======
> > $41.00 Total
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > "Oil Change Instructions For Men"
> > 1) Go to auto parts store and write a cheque for $50.00 for oil,
> > filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree.
> > 2) Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it
> > to the servo to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
> > 3) Open a beer and drink it.
> > 4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
> > 5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
> > 6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
> > 7) Place drain pan under engine.
> > 8) Look for 9/16 in socket set.
> > 9) Give up and use ring spanner.
> > 10) Unscrew drain plug, ensuring to strip the bolt as much as
> > possible.
> > 11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: get hot oil on you in process.
> > 12) Swear profusely and clean up mess.
> > 13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
> > 14) Look for oil filter wrench.
> > 15) Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off.
> > 16) Have another Beer.
> > 17) Mate shows up; finish slab with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
> > 18) Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath the car.
> > 19a) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
> > 19b) Pour pan of oil down the hole in the backyard, and cover.
> > 20) Have another Beer. Oh No, you drank it all yesterday.
> > 21) Walk to store; buy a slab.
> > 22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to
> > gasket surface.
> > 23) Dump first litre of fresh oil into engine.
> > 24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
> > 25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
> > 26) Discover that the drain plug is buried in a hole in the back yard
> > along with drain oil.
> > 27) Have another beer.
> > 28) Uncover hole and sift for drain plug.
> > 29) Discover that first litre of fresh oil is now on the floor.
> > 30) Have another beer.
> > 31) Slip with spanner tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on
> > suspension.
> > 32) Bang head on floor in reaction to step 31.
> > 33) Begin swearing fit.
> > 34) Throw spanner.
> > 35) Swear for additional 10 minutes because spanner hit Miss December
> > (1992) in the left boob.
> > 35) Have another Beer.
> > 36) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as to stop blood flow.
> > 37) Have another Beer.
> > 38) Have another Beer.
> > 39) Dump in five litres of fresh oil.
> > 40) Have another Beer.
> > 41) Lower car from jack stands.
> > 42) Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
> > 43) Move car to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step
> > 23.
> > 44) Have another Beer.
> > 45) Test drive car.
> > 46) Get pulled over - arrested for driving under the influence.
> > 47) Car gets impounded.
> > 48) Take Taxi home.
> > 49) Have argument with wife.
> > 50) Wife refuses to drive. Take taxi to impound yard next day.
> > 51) Get car from impound yard, pay fine.
> > 52) Buy flowers for wife.
> > 53) Go to Court. Get fined. Have licence suspended.
> > 54) Take train/bus/taxi for next 3 months.
> >
> > Money spent:
> > $50.00 parts
> > $50.00 beer
> > $50.00 replacement set of jack stands:
> > $50.00 flowers
> > $1,000.00 Fine
> > $200.00 Impound and towing fee
> > $400.00 Transport fares
> > =========
> > $1,800.00 Total
posted by 192.75....
, Wed, 28 Nov 2001 10:18:47 <-- Viewing This Message
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