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"O my soul do not aspire to eternal life, but exhaust the limits of the possible"
Each time you step foot inside the cockpit of your gleaming, heavily- modified, turbo charged saab, know that within milliseconds of the throaty exhaust's first roar, that, within all limits of possibility, your life may come to an abrupt end. Now, I know how you are all feeling right now, all choked-up, imagining yourself never again to be behind the wheel of your swedish love machine, for fear that some redneck, homophobic, ditto-head in a gas guzzling, nature loathing SUV might squish you like another one of "them damn'd endanger'd species!" Fear not! My quirky-mobile-loving brothers (and sisters), saabs are some of the safest cars on the road! For those of you not in the know (which as this BB clearly states is few and far between) those blond haired, blue eyed, northern neighbors of ours are hell-bent on keeping us alive during all sorts of enemy* attack. We, as a saab loving whole, must thank god (thor?) each day for giving us the sense to live, and thrive, under the watchful, caring umbrella of SAAB AB.
Now after all that, I must clarify a few things as to not ruffle any feathers I had not originally intended to. An suv, or sport utility vehicle, is, most of the time a gas-guzzling juggernaut. Right now in the old U.S. of A. we are having an energy crisis, i.e. WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF F_CKING ENERGY! Those of you who pay your own bills and aren't on the forbes list of wealthiest people, most likely, can relate. Those of you on the other side of the picket fence...listen carefully. People are wasting fuel. Waste comes in all shapes and sizes. Yes, even our beloved saabs aren't the most energy efficent vehicles on the planet, BUT, they are a huge improvement over SUV's and the like (personally I get 25-30 mpg on my 87 spg w/ mods). Now, I know that it is very likely that some of you who have been compelled to read this (sheer boredom?)own suvs. I understand that there are exceptions to everything and some things are unavoidable, you suv + saab owners happen to be just that. You people have enough brain cells left in that noodle of yours to understand that moderation is the key. No,no, I'm not just picking you out of the dung pile because we share the same passion (or maybe I am, I'll have to get back to you on that one) but because you know that driving that eight cylinder pushrod OCCASIONALLY is, in essence, conservation. Please for your and my pocketbook's sake, do not aspire to eternal supplies of gasoline and the like, but exhaust the limits of your SAAB. (I've got 250,000 and still going strong!)
Godspeed, errr Thorspeed,
J.W.
*enemy: a nation or force hostile to another
**author's note: we all have our own enemies; my enemy and your enemy may not be the same; sometimes we both have the same enemy/enemies, ie mullet wearin', wife beatin' SUV drivers. (keep your eyes peeled, their everywhere!)
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