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Sweet New Carbon Fiber Stuff!
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Posted by gorper (more from gorper) on Wed, 4 Sep 2002 22:54:24 Share Post by Email
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So, you want a bigger turbo? Waste of time. Port/polished head? Save your money for candy, kid. Aftermarket APC? Hot cams? Whatever, dude.

If you don't know yet, then you don't know the Crapper. Because anyone who knows anything about increasing performance knows that there is no better automotive mod available anywhere. The Crapper significantly decreases weight prior to strapping into one's SAAB, thereby increasing power-to-weight ratio, resulting in phenomenally improved straightline as well as cornering performance. Also gives a quieter, smoother and more comfortable ride, and costs less than a spring kit and a set of Konis. Results are especially impressive after large meals or when used by individuals with larger than average lower GI components.

The Carbon (fiber) Reinforced Alimentary (canal) Purger P.E.R., or "Crapper," is constructed of only the finest, 100% aerospace-grade pure carbon fiber, and a discerning automotive enthusiast such as yourself knows that *nothing* is better than carbon fiber. Using only the most advanced, state-of-the-art equipment, each piece is meticulously handcrafted by highly skilled technicians who have undergone extensive training, and who are full of vast knowledge of seat construction and performance theory.

The Crapper was created using ultra-advanced computer-aided design software, then subjected to rigorous computer modelling by wind experts, followed by real-world testing in some of the world's most grueling conditions: the portapotties at this year's Great American Chili Cook-off held this past August in Kansas City, where tens of thousands of participants eagerly consumed nearly 125 tons of chili over a 2-day period.

Don't be left smelling someone else's exhaust when the light turns green. Get the Crapper...and "go"!!



Cost: $140
Weight: Under 8 Ounces
Capacity: 7,552 Pounds

SPECIAL MODIFICATION NOTE:

As with most mods, upgrading one component of your vehicle requires that other components also be enhanced. We highly recommend using our Winner's Increased Performance Enhancers, or "Wipes." Each spindle of Wipes contains 1000 durable, tough-woven sheets. Available in packs of 4, 6 or 8. Get the most from your Crapper with Wipes! Inquire when placing your order.

posted by 63.225.177...

Carbon Fiber Rules Yo

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