Its a tough call when something like this happens. Something similar happened to me about 6-7 years ago when my girlfriend of 2.5 years decided that she didn't love me anymore. I was crushed at the time, but after a short period I met a new woman and I realized just how unhappy I was in the old relationship. I'm glad she left me. By the way- I'm still with that person 7 years later.

I have a friend who went though what seems to be a very similar problem to yours just last year. He called me and told me that out of the blue his girlfriend of 5-6? years had met someone at work and that she wanted to be with him instead. To summarize a long story, she ended up leaving my friend, moving out, and dating the other guy. Within 2 months she was back with my friend and now they've moved back into a new place together. Personally, I'm surprised he took her back after what she put him through, but its easier to make moral judgements when its not happening to you- much harder when its real life. That's the power of love I guess.

My theory is this (and remember that I'm an engineer, not a phsycologist!):
I think that after time, people's relationships become more comfortable. The downside of this is that some of the original passion and exitement is given up. When you meet someone else that you have a "crush" on, you're just seeking that original passion you no longer have in your current relationship- what is usually overlooked however, is that this new person is NOT your current partner, and that comfort and emotional connection will not be there. Classic case of you don't know what you've got 'till its gone.

My advice is to talk to her and find out what she thinks is missing from the relationship, or what she thinks she'll gain by going for this other guy. Think about why you want to be with her too- and be honest with yourself. Maybe you'll be surprised by what you think- I never even considered that I'd be happier with someone else until it happened!

One more thing- If this "Jared" guy that she's been having lunch with has been pressuring her to go to Subway for said activity then you have no choice but to kill them both.

Hope it all works out and take care,

Brad

posted by 65.123.118...

• OT: PLEASE HELP!!!, Redmilk, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 14:06:19
  • An update, Redmilk, Sat, 30 Nov 2002 01:25:21
  • Are you kidding? (Tough love on the way ...), j-ro, Fri, 29 Nov 2002 14:33:56
    • Saab = Chick Magnet, FrozenSaab, Fri, 29 Nov 2002 15:23:06
  • 'Talking things out here on the BB is one way of>, Traffic Shark , Fri, 29 Nov 2002 12:24:30
  • Re: OT: PLEASE HELP!!!, Chad, Fri, 29 Nov 2002 11:11:01
  • Don't play games and don't use psycology...., Richard P., Fri, 29 Nov 2002 10:05:00
    • Re: Don't play games and don't use psycology...., Tio Barry, Fri, 29 Nov 2002 10:49:54
      • Re: Don't play games and don't use psycology...., KsKid, Fri, 29 Nov 2002 12:57:26
  • Here be the solution, Sir Mix-a-lot, Fri, 29 Nov 2002 10:01:25
  • Something to consider, Daanimal900, Fri, 29 Nov 2002 03:21:57
    • Similar to Daanimal900, Terry G-B, Fri, 29 Nov 2002 11:21:03
      • You reminded me of something..., Daanimal900, Fri, 29 Nov 2002 23:35:20
  • It hurts me a bit to read this . . ., MJP, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 23:50:08
    • I know a guy who went through the same thing ..., J, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 23:58:55
  • Re: OT: PLEASE HELP!!!, Erik, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 19:25:44
  • General Theme..., FrozenSaab, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 16:46:39
  • Its your call man..., bRAD, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 16:44:00 <-- Viewing This Message
    • I'll tell you something bRAD,..., StanleyB, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 16:57:36
      • it was a joke, MJP, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 23:54:01
  • Keep them coming, this helps. thanks. nm, Redmilk, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 16:07:03
  • Yes, I agree that the reach and withdraw that you talk, KB88900T, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 15:54:35
    • Thank you KB nm, Redmilk, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 16:05:52
  • Female point of view encouraged too! nm, redmilk, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 15:15:58
  • Been there, done it...> (long), StanleyB, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 14:44:39
    • StanleyB makes a good point..., FrozenSaab, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 14:51:20
  • Re: OT: PLEASE HELP!!!, FrozenSaab, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 14:33:28
  • My advise ..., J, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 14:31:48
    • DOH! ... It should say "My advice" or "I advise". n/m, J, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 14:32:40
      • Thank you stanley, frozen, J. nm, redmilk, Thu, 28 Nov 2002 16:06:30

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