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Lets have some fun here ;) (any of the following should not be attempted)
A few Tips on how to tune you car while spending very little $
1- Lowering your car:
Using a blowtorch crawl under car, which should be parked on
some wooden planks so you have the space to get under. Now carefully
direct the blowtorch to the springs, heat em up till car is lower. Don't
get stuck under you car. Now you car is low and no need for
these expensive after market springs ;)
2- Improving the airflow to the air filter.
Find the air filter and carefully remove it until you only
have the pipe left that goes to the Turbo. Use a piece
of nylon panties as air filter. Use some band aid and
carefully tape piece of nylons around open end of hose.
Make sure your taping work is good, you don't want that
piece of panties in the Turbo. Now you got real good
free air flow to that turbo, and who needs a K&N sports filter ;)
3- Getting more boost:
Who needs a dump valve? This nasty thing will only reduce
the boost. Remove it and replace it with some fitting tubing.
The more boost the better! There is no need for these forged
dump vales right! ;)
4- Improving your brakes:
Remove all 4 wheels and all 4 rotors. Order one of
these miracle laser drill sets from any shopping TV channel.
Carefully drill plenty of holes into your rotors. Don't
be too accurate, no one will ever check to see if they're all
symmetrical. ;)
5- Getting rid of brake dust:
Remove your pads, order a PAD set from Granite Pads Hindustan Industries.
These pads are way cool. 1st they produce no brake dust. 2nd they last
longer then your rotors! Pads made out of granite! You bet they bite when
you hit the brakes ;) And at 3.99 a full set they're a bargain!
6- Upping your fuel pressure:
You see with more boost you need more fuel! To achieve this
buy a GM Marine Diesel L4578Z fuel pump. Now we're talking
fuel pressure, this thing will eject the fuel in an ignited state! ;)
7- Improving ignition:
The best way to achieve this is simple! Buy a set of 4 Fuego Del Dios
ultra spark, spark plugs. They are made out of solid magnesium, nothing
will beat this when it comes to creating some huge sparks, and best of
all you can get the set of 8 for 19.99 at Ralphs. ;)
8- Next we need more cool air on that intercooler:
That is real easy. See all that AC pipes, rip em out! We're doing
a HOT car here, so who cares if it gets a little warm inside!
9- Make your car lighter:
In order to go real fast you need a light car! An guess what's the
heavy stuff in a car! YEP right the glass! So remove all these
heavy side and rear windows! Plus as the AC is gone you will
get less hot inside! Who needs a spare tire, kick it out along
with any tools that might be useful. Rear seats, yeah right no
kids yet, kick em! ;)
10- Improve engine cooling:
This is a simple thing, remove all that obstructive stuff in the
front of your car called, bumper, fender etc. With the air right on
your radiator and intercooler your car is a winner!
11- Looks:
Buy some cool colors cans and tag your car, now its in! ;)
12- Tires:
The less profile the more grip! Why spend thousands on good tires
when you can get slicks for free in the dump of any car dealer! Put them
on, now that car will stick to the road ;)
13- Making your wheels lighter:
You see for better handling you need to reduce the unsprung weight.
So reuse that drill set and drill some holes into your allow wheels.
In the spokes only please! ;)
14- Now next we need to reduce the drag:
To do this, don't use these wide tires, rather use some 145s and rip
off these side mirrors. Buy some transparent plastic and tape up
all the places where you removed the windows, leave some space open
to get rid of the heat :)
ENJOY MY FRIEND!
Coolknight
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