This is pretty funny - airplane mechanic humor - Saab General Bulletin Board

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This is pretty funny - airplane mechanic humor Posted by Ed NC (more from Ed NC) on Wed, 28 Aug 2002 09:48:32

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I loved the "could not duplicate" one!!

-------------

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QUANTAS pilots and
the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log.
S stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Auto-pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined
airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed

posted by 67.240.7...

Posts in this Thread:

This is pretty funny - airplane mechanic humor, Ed NC, Wed, 28 Aug 2002 09:48:32 <-- Viewing This Message
- funny but QANTAS is spelt wrong - no U!...., sab, Sat, 31 Aug 2002 07:51:01
  - And "Air Lingus" should be Aer Lingus ... n/m, Caspar, Mon, 2 Sep 2002 05:41:45
    - Re: And "Air Lingus" should be Aer Lingus ... n/m, Dave Westlake, Tue, 3 Sep 2002 11:15:33
      - LOL ... n/m, Caspar, Tue, 3 Sep 2002 11:37:49
- Like deja vu all over again..., JimBlake , Wed, 28 Aug 2002 10:24:18
- Like deja vu all over again..., JimBlake , Wed, 28 Aug 2002 10:24:17
  - 1944 and i didnt land., Quinn S. Kurz, Wed, 28 Aug 2002 15:05:03
  - You are correct Jim, no IFF on civ airliners. n/m, Texron, Wed, 28 Aug 2002 10:38:42
    - Not exactly, all IFR capable aircraft have IFF..., Ken F, Wed, 28 Aug 2002 14:13:37
      - Like I said, civ airliners do not have IFF., Texron, Wed, 28 Aug 2002 14:20:51
        IFF sounds like its .., Quinn S. Kurz, Wed, 28 Aug 2002 14:56:40
        IFF means.. do we shoot you down or not, dave n, Mon, 2 Sep 2002 12:49:02
        Quinn, you haven't seen TCAS yet?, KeithR, Wed, 28 Aug 2002 17:20:10
        Re: Quinn, you haven't seen TCAS yet?, Quinn S. Kurz, Thu, 29 Aug 2002 01:10:02
        ...and a lot safer, JBinMD, Thu, 29 Aug 2002 08:59:26
        Your both kind of right on IFF,,, KeithR, Wed, 28 Aug 2002 14:55:56
        Sounds like a C-Shopper to me..., Street, Sat, 31 Aug 2002 10:36:22
        Yea, what he said, JBinMB, Wed, 28 Aug 2002 14:55:37
    - what does iff stand for? n/m, Gilligan, Wed, 28 Aug 2002 12:14:05
      - math - "if and only if", MJM , Wed, 28 Aug 2002 14:06:16
      - Re: what does iff stand for?, Richard Miller, Wed, 28 Aug 2002 12:34:01

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